Marriage - Love ya Arranged?

Friday, August 10, 2012
OMG! I can't believe this post of mine won prize from Sony television for their contest about Love marriage or Arranged marriage!

Born in an extravagant (oops! punjabi) family, you grow up listening about, talking about, shopping for, gossiping about, eat-sleep-walk about only one thing - marriages. Yes, marriage is our most favourite topic for discussion on every occasion. And this year, its my turn to go crazy as my brother is getting married. So all I do every single day is get up and go shoppiiinnngggggg! :D

But as it turns out, there is a collateral damage! Every relative who meets me these days has the same weirdly big smile glued to their face when they say, "Agla number tera!" Yes, these are the exact same strange aunties who torment you in marriages by playing their "Pehchaan kaun" games and their "Itni-badi-ho gayi..last-time-dekha-to-itni-choti-si-thi" stories. So, after meeting a lot of such relatives, my mom has finally started taking this very seriously and has forced me to decide whether I will find a guy for myself or she should start searching! So nowadays, my life is revolving around the toughest question- Love marriage or Arranged marriage?!


Well my dream has been like in Bollywood films, I accidently (or purposely :P) meet my Mr. Perfect, fall in love, have a fairy-tale love story, have a small "love-marriage" in a temple and a happily ever-after. However, the problem with this "happily ever-after" is that it doesn't seem to be so happy eventually. Now, I am not saying that in arranged marriages couples don't fight but the difference is they didn't know each other before marriage so there are no expectations. Luckily for the husband, the wife cannot say, "Aap bade badal gye ho ji..pehle to mere liye diamond necklaces laate the aur ab dekho bas chota sa solitaire laae ho!" LOL :P But seriously, there are no expectations in an arranged marriage, thus it is easier to adjust with the new circumstances and person. Also, initially during the courtship period, both are trying to impress the other person, thus everything is very pretentious! Thus, when they face the real life problems, the sweet masks come off!

Also, when people fall in love, they cannot really help whether this person belongs to same religion or not, whereas in an arranged marriage, your parents choose a family in the exact same religion which makes it easier for the girl to adjust. Please don't take me wrong, I am as secular as our beloved nation but in my opinion, when the traditions and customs of both families are similar, its easier for both the families to get along. Also, it is quite obvious that you get a lot of family support when you get married according to your parent's choice. So, if you fight in a love marriage, your parents are probably gonna say, "I told you she/he is not the right one for you!" whereas in an arranged marriage, they take it upon themselves to resolve things between you!

Now, I personally have no idea about the divorce rates that people compare in both marriages, but I read in TOI, the Bombay High Court stated that the divorce rates are higher for the love marriages. This reminds of a story. Sometime ago, a couple celebrated their 100th marriage anniversary. When people asked them their secret of a successful marriage, they said, "In our times, when something was broke we used to mend it and not throw away".

So, I think I am gonna choose an arranged marriage over a love marriage so that I can have the fun of asking the guy- "Khaana bnana aata hai? chalo chal k dikhao, gaa k sunao" :P and I can also tell me wuld-be-sasumaa, "Mummyji, ye samose maine apne haatho se bnae hai!" Haha, I will probably also get the added advantage of blaming my mom k dekho kesa ladka chuna hai aapne..chii! :P

"To me, my favourite love story is not Romeo & Juliet who died together but Grandpa and Grandma who grew old together"

9 comments:

  1. Good one! All the best for the contest! Loved this post!

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  2. Nice!!! Although I am happily love married (can that be a word), I can understand the charm of an arranged marriage. Best of luck. :)

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  3. Really loved the post. Very entertaining read.very classically penned, and we too can get some samosa's. (only asking)

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  4. I like the lighthearted, flippant tone of your post, but I don't agree with your views. I don't think any human being is without expectations. You don't enter into an arranged marriage ready to accept just anything your spouse might throw at you. What if you have huge ideological differences with them? And these are things you can't really gauge in the one or two meetings you might have had before the wedding. I have a lot more to say, but this is increasingly turning into a rant, so I shall stop and wish you all the best for the contest.

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  5. I actually second Kyra...arranged and love-both has its own battles and rewards......But still your post was cute...i enjoyed reading....:-)

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  6. Honest writing.
    All said and done, putting the blame on others may alleviate your pain if things don't (god forbid) turn out to be good in your arrange marriage, but it won't make the problem go away.
    Be very careful of your choice, in the end, jab miya biwi ho NA razi, toh kya kar lega koi bhi kazi!

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  7. Cute love.
    Visit Matchfinder dadhich matrimony to find dream life partner you always cherished.

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  8. Any type of marriage is not easy. The secret lies in understanding each other. A clap cannot be made with just one hand. Read more on buzzfeed

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